Unleash the Leader!
"Children with strong wills have the potential to be the next generation of leaders. They have their own ideas an plans. They know what they want. They are persistent, confident, passionate and determined to succeed at whatever they choose to do. Leaders have an agenda, look for ways to incorporate others into their plans, and have a higher need for control in their life."
"Balanced with graciousness, leaders become a treasure because they make things happen, create organization out of chaos, and motivate people to action." (Parenting is Heart Work pg 50)
http://www.biblicalparenting.org/
Somewhere along the line, I formed the belief that I was not a leader – I was a follower. I felt I was always in Wendy’s shadow. (Nothing Wendy did intentionally.) I was born second, no one knew that I was even coming, until after Wendy was born.
I have known, in my heart, for a long time that I have leadership qualities. But I hid, often confused. “Am I truly a leader? How can you be a leader if you have always been content to be a follower?” High School allowed me to step out and indivuate a bit when Wendy went to another school. It took away that "twin" identity I rested in. Going in YES also greatly impacted my life - and put me into areas for growth.
When I was a teenager I was asked to be the President of our youth group. I said no because I didn’t believe (or I was taught to believe) as a "woman" I should not be a leader of "men". I settled for Vice President.
When my children were little I was asked to be the nursery coordinator. I even questioned whether or not I had the leadership skills to do that! I remember talking to a friend, Cheryl Pfautz, and she just smiled, knowingly. She knew I could do it. She also knew I didn't have the confidence in myself to do it!
In business, Brian and I are leading our company – quite a different picture than I ever expected of my life!
I find myself in a leadership position – needing to have vision, to train and correct people, but not feeling like I know what I am doing as a leader! I find it ironic everytime I sign my name and title - Wanda Stauffer, Vice President of our line painting business. Funny huh?
I remember a sermon that Allan Yoder, our pastor, preached many years ago about family. He straightened out my question of "Am I a leader or not?" If you have children, you are a leader!
I get that now, more than ever before. I admit, I have been pretty passive at times with my children. You notice the quote at the top of the page is there for a reason - because I have 1 or 2 strong willed kids! And if I wallow in this "I am not a leader" mentality for long, my kids lead the show!
Recently someone looked in my eyes and told me, "Wanda, God has put a fierceness in you. Don't back down." I have been thinking about it in relation to my kids.
The character and heart changing stuff I am trying to instill and shape into my kids is something I need to stand up for too. And it may look like standing up against my strong-willed 9 year old! Something I don't tend to deal with very well. I have found myself thinking about this and getting my back bone out a bit more often. And I see hope on the horizon. Oh, she will still buck me. But I am not backing down, when it is something that comprimises God's will.
I was praying last night about my kids and my leadership of them. I remember applying for a job at the YMCA when I was in nursing school. One of the interview questions was something about what would I do if the kids needed discipline or correction. And I really didn’t know. I knew that punishment/pain was not an option – how do you keep kids in under control without negative discipline methods? I didn’t get the job at Camp Shand.
James asked me when I will come in and be lunch mom at school. I said I didn’t know! I get so nervous when I am with the kids, alone – I am afraid – I don’t know what to do if they start to act out and get out of hand! I feel OUT OF CONTROL! I have anxiety over the fact that I would tend to be more lenient, let the kids get away with more stuff – but I wonder (and never really know) what the expectation of the teacher is! I have often marveled at the fact that a teacher can teach 24 busy kids, with such cool calm and collectedness!
I have a lot to learn from these teachers! They are all leaders – and they have an agenda – and if they would not follow it, and make exceptions for the one child that does not want to follow – the whole class would suffer. I am asking God to help me grasp my role as a mother leader. That he would set me free to be the leader that he desires for me to be!
One area I need to grow is in correcting my children, or people I lead. I hate conflict and confrontation!
"Balanced with graciousness, leaders become a treasure because they make things happen, create organization out of chaos, and motivate people to action." (Parenting is Heart Work pg 50)
Somewhere along the line, I formed the belief that I was not a leader – I was a follower. I felt I was always in Wendy’s shadow. (Nothing Wendy did intentionally.) I was born second, no one knew that I was even coming, until after Wendy was born.
As we grew up, I was content to follow. I am sure it wasn't all the time that Wendy led, but as I look back, the perception ingrained in me was this: Wendy was a social butterfly (I love you sis! =)) and I tended to be more quiet and reserved. I began to believe I was a follower, not a leader. I learned that if I walk behind Wendy and fall behind her shadow, I can hide.
I have known, in my heart, for a long time that I have leadership qualities. But I hid, often confused. “Am I truly a leader? How can you be a leader if you have always been content to be a follower?” High School allowed me to step out and indivuate a bit when Wendy went to another school. It took away that "twin" identity I rested in. Going in YES also greatly impacted my life - and put me into areas for growth.
When I was a teenager I was asked to be the President of our youth group. I said no because I didn’t believe (or I was taught to believe) as a "woman" I should not be a leader of "men". I settled for Vice President.
When my children were little I was asked to be the nursery coordinator. I even questioned whether or not I had the leadership skills to do that! I remember talking to a friend, Cheryl Pfautz, and she just smiled, knowingly. She knew I could do it. She also knew I didn't have the confidence in myself to do it!
In business, Brian and I are leading our company – quite a different picture than I ever expected of my life!
I find myself in a leadership position – needing to have vision, to train and correct people, but not feeling like I know what I am doing as a leader! I find it ironic everytime I sign my name and title - Wanda Stauffer, Vice President of our line painting business. Funny huh?
I remember a sermon that Allan Yoder, our pastor, preached many years ago about family. He straightened out my question of "Am I a leader or not?" If you have children, you are a leader!
I get that now, more than ever before. I admit, I have been pretty passive at times with my children. You notice the quote at the top of the page is there for a reason - because I have 1 or 2 strong willed kids! And if I wallow in this "I am not a leader" mentality for long, my kids lead the show!
Recently someone looked in my eyes and told me, "Wanda, God has put a fierceness in you. Don't back down." I have been thinking about it in relation to my kids.
The character and heart changing stuff I am trying to instill and shape into my kids is something I need to stand up for too. And it may look like standing up against my strong-willed 9 year old! Something I don't tend to deal with very well. I have found myself thinking about this and getting my back bone out a bit more often. And I see hope on the horizon. Oh, she will still buck me. But I am not backing down, when it is something that comprimises God's will.
I was praying last night about my kids and my leadership of them. I remember applying for a job at the YMCA when I was in nursing school. One of the interview questions was something about what would I do if the kids needed discipline or correction. And I really didn’t know. I knew that punishment/pain was not an option – how do you keep kids in under control without negative discipline methods? I didn’t get the job at Camp Shand.
James asked me when I will come in and be lunch mom at school. I said I didn’t know! I get so nervous when I am with the kids, alone – I am afraid – I don’t know what to do if they start to act out and get out of hand! I feel OUT OF CONTROL! I have anxiety over the fact that I would tend to be more lenient, let the kids get away with more stuff – but I wonder (and never really know) what the expectation of the teacher is! I have often marveled at the fact that a teacher can teach 24 busy kids, with such cool calm and collectedness!
I have a lot to learn from these teachers! They are all leaders – and they have an agenda – and if they would not follow it, and make exceptions for the one child that does not want to follow – the whole class would suffer. I am asking God to help me grasp my role as a mother leader. That he would set me free to be the leader that he desires for me to be!
One area I need to grow is in correcting my children, or people I lead. I hate conflict and confrontation!
“Good correction is an art. It’s been said that wisdom is being able to give someone a shot in the arm without them feeling the needle.” (Parenting is Heart Work)
My prayer is that God would give me creative ways to reach the heart of my children. That he would help me love them to life!
wow, so true, and as you thought I was the leader, I sit here with some of the same feelings! Crazy eh?
ReplyDeleteI know you have leadership abilities, you gave me all the good ideas.....maybe it's the confidence thing that really needs to grow.. love you too