Sleep Apnea and A Thousand Sleepless Nights

Last week, I posted my son's story, Anonymously Amazing, in which he described an individual with sleep apnea.  He so kindly left me anonymous, so as not to embarrass me.  I appreciate his thoughtfulness and had tears in my eyes as I read his story.  It touched my heart that he was able to put into words what he saw happen that morning when the song, Blessings, came on the radio.

I want to use his story as a spring board to add another piece to that story.  If you didn't get a chance to read it, this post will make more sense if you go back and read his story. This link will take you there.  Anonymously Amazing by my son

Sleep apnea has affected me for many years.  I was diagnosed with it several years ago (in my 30's). I started to use a CPAP machine, only to discover that I would tear it off of my face in the middle of the night.  Each morning, the machine still running and my mask was on the floor.  I couldn't get used to it, so I stopped using it.  

Years of poor sleep quality followed.  I often napped in the afternoons because I couldn't keep going.

Fast forward to several months ago, when my kids started to notice my snoring and even my apnea episodes if I fell asleep on the sofa in the evening.  I could tell it bothered them.  Memories of my teen years when my own dad would fall asleep in his chair and have episodes where he stopped breathing, motivated me to do something.

My dad stopped breathing regularly and there were times, I would shake him awake so that he would start breathing again.  He would gasp, snore loudly, and wake up.  I wouldn't have verbalized it then, but I was afraid he would stop breathing and never start again.  

I made an appointment with my doctor and ended up with another CPAP machine.  The years that passed and the upgrades that were made to the machine, enabled me to tolerate it this time.  After a few nights of good sleep with my new machine, I was feeling energized and refreshed.  

It was on a Saturday morning, during the first week of having my new machine, that the song, Blessings, by Laura Story, came on the radio.  I was sitting at the kitchen table, well rested.  

"What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near?" 

Tears streamed down my face.  It wasn't a new song to me.  It was already a favorite, but in that moment, after being able to enjoy restful sleep, I began thanking God for the blessing of restorative sleep and that he made known to me that he was near.

My dad eventually did take his last breath, a few months after I turned 20.  I wasn't there to shake him awake, but I know it wouldn't have made a difference.  He died from complications from Multiple Sclerosis, not sleep apnea.  

I believe that God is sovereign.  I have lived a life that has revealed the greater thirst this world can't satisfy. Pain reminds this heart that this is not my home. 

   

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?   Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?   Luke 12:25

Your eyes saw my unformed body;  all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.   Psalm 139:16

 I hope you enjoy listening to Laura Story sing the beautiful song, Blessings, by Laura Story

As believers in Jesus, we can rest in the assurance that this is not our home.

I pray that you would feel the nearness of Jesus in your pain and trials that you may be walking through at this time.  

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